GoodbyeI'm Sorry
by CrystalBlueWolf
Summary: Bit of a sad story really, but it was 1am when i wrote it. Kagome is being badly bullied at school, and she decides thats she's had enough, will she tell her mother or end her suffering herself? Sorry not good at these, Warning might be a bit graphic


I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters...Sadly TT

**Goodbye...I'm Sorry**

Kagome woke up in pain again that morning, all the bruises from the day before finally coming up all over her body, hidden under layers of clothes. She never quite understood why they never hit her face; she guessed it was because it wasn't as easy to hide if they did. '_They must have some brains in their bodies_' she thought as she crawled slowly towards the mirror to survey the damage done to her body. She took one look at herself and gasped, her arms were covered in bruises so were her legs and even her feet. She laughed they really knew what they were doing didn't they.

She used to be such a happy child full of life and laughter, beautiful blue eyes used to sparkle and her long ebony hair used to be so lovely and soft she could sit of it! But everything had changed now, the constant beatings she received had taken the light from her eyes, her smile had died long ago and her hair had been cut. She never did tell anyone why she had come home one day with shorter hair, but how to do you explain to your parents that you had been set on fire! And constantly had chewing gum stuck in it. She looked over at the clock and it read 6.20am, which meant she needed to get ready for school, joy yet another day of being beaten. She dragged herself to get her uniform and some foundation to hide the black marks under her eyes from crying herself to sleep again. It had become a regular thing now, she would come home each day, pretend to her mother that she had, had a brilliant day at school make up a load of crap about what she had done then make some excuse that she was tired and go to bed and cry until dinner when she would force herself to eat and then go to bed.

She could hear people moving around downstairs, which meant her family was finally waking up.

"Kagome, its time to go to school" shouted her mother.

"Ok mom, be there in a minute"

"Be quick or you'll miss the bus!"

Ok I'll just get my bag and I'll go, why doesn't she just tell her mother that she doesn't want to go to school it would be so much easier than having to put up with the stupid girls at school who are going to make her day hell again, she sighs, she couldn't do that to her mother it would kill her.

"See you later mom"

**-Later that day (after school)-**

'_Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it…._' She thought as she walked up the road to her house, she had, had the worse beating ever that day, she even had a limp from being beaten with a pair of metal crutches! All because she was helping the girl around because she had broken her leg in an accident and she was angry so she beat her '_sighs_'. She made sure she did the usual checks before she entered the house.

'_Smile…. check_'

'_Laughing…. check_'

'_Right here_ _goes_'

"Hey mom, how are you?"

"I'm good thank you, good day at school?" her mother said beaming from the kitchen.

"Oh it was brilliant mom! I had a really good laugh with my friends today, and I helped the teachers again" 'if only she knew I was skipping lessons to help teachers to avoid those girls'

"That's good dear, dinner will be ready soon, why don't you go and get changed and I'll call for you in a bit?"

"Thanks mom, I'll go and have a bath" 'and soak my bruises, maybe I will help'

**-In my room-**

As I looked again at my body in the mirror I was so covered now in bruises that it wasn't even funny! I hate the way I look, my hair is messy because I couldn't care less about it anymore, my eyes are dull and hidden by glasses and I look thin, from lack of wanting to eat. There were also cuts on my arms, which weren't made by the girls, but by me, yes that's right I self harm, it's the only release that I get from the hell of school anymore. Not that anyone notices that I'm different because I can easily mask the pain now it's like playing the main roles in a play. Its fun in a sick way to be honest. I turn on my radio so I have something to mask the fact that there are tears marking there way down my face leaving read burnt lines in there wake.

"Why?" I cry, "What did I do to deserve this!?!"

I slump down next to my bed and shake from the force of the tears and the fact that my body it hurting so much from the abuse I've suffered at the hands of those girls. I stop long enough to hear my favourite song come on the radio. **Goodbye I'm sorry by And Then I Turned Seven**. This song always seems to play when I'm feeling like this, its like it's trying to tell me something.

_**Time has run out, for me.  
Everything's distant and I don't know what to believe.  
It's so hard, lost in the world confusion.  
And I need to leave, for a while.  
Life is so meaningless; there is nothing worth a smile.  
So goodbye, I'll miss you.**_

I look back on the reasons that may have caused the girls to act the way they do to me, but I've never been able to find one yet. Jealously maybe? But why would they be jealous of someone like me? I'm noting special just a plain girl like everyone else. Stupid Kikyo and her anger I wince as I move and knocked one of the bruises.

_**And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.  
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.  
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.  
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.  
I'm not worth any tears.**_

I can remember the one time someone felt sorry for me, his name was Inuyasha he was Kikyo's boyfriend and he was being forced to stab me in the hands as punishment for something, I can't even remember what now, I could see I his eyes that he didn't want to do it and that brought me some comfort but I knew he would suffer if he didn't do it which is why I didn't protest too much. He was being used just like I was. I can clearly remember the look on kikyo's face as if I was some piece of filth that wasn't even worth being on her shoe, no one wanted me there they all though the same, I was only good for one thing and that was a punching bag when they had, had a bag day or got a bad grade. And me being who I was just let them do it because I didn't want to start a fight; being the teacher's pet I was at the time. I see now it was stupid but I was young at the time and foolish.

_**It's been the years, of abuse.  
Neglected to treat the disorder,  
that controls my youth, for so long.  
I'm in a fleshy tomb, buried up above the ground.  
It's no use, why should I hold on?  
It's been five years, don't need one more.  
So goodbye, life's abuse.**_

I've prayed so many times that I will go to sleep and not wake up, hoping that either I will finally die or I'll wake up to it being a dream. Neither happens and I just carry on as usual doing my best to put on a brave face.

_**And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.  
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.  
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.  
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.  
I'm not worth any tears.**_

_**(Every 18 minutes, somebody dies from a suicide.  
Every 43 seconds, somebody attempts one.  
If you, or anybody you know, is suicidal,  
Call 1-800-784-2433.)**_

This part of the song is always ironic because I'm usually half way through cutting myself by this point, because I can no longer take the pain anymore and I want some sort of release from it which I get watching the blood flow down my arms. I always think about the people that I would leave behind if I finally just did go too far and cut myself, my mother, and brother, best friend who is like my sister Sango. But it doesn't stop the pain in my heart, I know that it will never go away and I will probably never properly recover from it. So it only makes what I'm going to do next that much easier.

_**And I'm sorry, but this my fate.  
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.  
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.  
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.  
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.  
I'm not worth any tears.**_

I write down my note to be left behind to explain as much as I can to my mother, she will most likely find me when she comes to tell me about dinner, which should be soon. I look around my room tears in my eyes I can still remember being happy but only barely I curl up in the corner of the room and grab my blade tighter in my hand, this was it the pain would finally end. As I raise it above my head I laugh and smile a true smile for the last time.

"Goodbye…. I'm sorry" were the last words that left my lips as I brought the blade down finally ending the pain.

**-Mother point of view-**

"Kagome? Where is she I called her ages ago to come to dinner its going to get cold soon?"

As I walked up the stairs I knew something was wrong straight away, I could feel as if something horrible had happened and I knew it had happened to my daughter. I walked up to her door and it was open but only the smallest bit, I open it more and the sight I saw will stay with my for the rest of my life. There on the floor was my daughter, her wrists sliced open surrounded by her own blood. I had to cover my mouth to stop me from being sick I wanted to scream but the sound wouldn't come, nothing would. I knew something was wrong she hadn't been right for a while it was her eyes, they looked so broken like she was hiding something but I didn't want to push her. As I got closer I noticed she looked so peaceful, I couldn't take it anymore I dropped to my knees and screamed at the top of my lungs, tears running down my face. My son started running up the stairs but I told him to stop and not come in but the call 999 for an ambulance quickly! I think he could hear how desperate I was because I could hear him running and frantically talking to someone of the phone. That's when I noticed it, in her hand there was a piece of paper addressed to me, amazingly it wasn't completely covered in blood. I gently took it from her hand and opened it. The tears sprung once more as I read her last ever note to me, my beautiful daughter was gone. This was all I had left.

_Dear mom, if your reading this then you have found me, or my brother has. First off let me say I am really sorry but I couldn't cope, I tried but I failed. I know that I should have told you but I didn't want you to think I was weak or couldn't look after myself. I know that you have probably called an ambulance by now, so I will write this in here so you won't get in trouble, I am covered in bruises, you can probably see some of them where my arms are, these were made by the girls at my school. I won't give names because I don't want to get them in trouble. But anyway I just wanted to say once again that I am sorry for everything I have put you through, and I'm sorry that I wasn't stronger. I love you and Souta. Please forgive me one day._

_Love_

_Kagome, your loving daughter._

**END**

**Sorry for the depressing story but, well this one kind of hit home if you get what i mean, and i've been meaning to write a story like this for a while. This is my first story so it might not be very good, but please review anyway. Cheers x**


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